Writing

Writing doesn’t always have to be a serious business. Though it’s wise to make sure that you write correctly, there’s a lot of fun to be had when playing with words.

Two emails that landed in my inbox the other day made me chuckle. The first was called Humor for Lexophiles. I won’t reproduce the whole thing, but here are a few of my favorites:
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

The second source of amusement was an email featuring metaphors from student essays. Here are a few that caught my eye:

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.