It is Christmas time and many fine yarns are being spun regarding the North Pole, Santa's workshop, Mr. and Mrs. Claus and the flying reindeer. Many parents of believers have never enjoyed their children more as elf spys are keeping track of behavior. It is a fanciful, magical, intense time and through the years we all remember that feeling of wonder and possibilities.
Also celebrated at this time of year is another story. A story about teenagers who traveled too close to the due date of their first child. A story about miracles, and possibilities and humility. No matter how hardened we become to organized religion and its hypocrisy we still feel a tug on our heart strings when we watch little kids perform this story in bathrobes and towel headresses. We may look at this as a bit of a wishful thinking fable, but when we hear "Drummer Boy" we feel something simple and sweet, it is hope. Possibility.
Do I have a testimony? Well I can tell you, it isn't the one I had as a child, it isn't the one I struggled to keep during my late 20's or the one I proudly held when my husband was Bishop. Instead it is a smaller testimony, made real through time and experience, study and prayer, betrayal and redemption. As a child I needed it to be absolutely true, it was impossible to think I lived in a world where people I loved would tell me anything that wasn't the truth. As a young mother I realized that there was more to it and that my perfect truth was flawed. I felt lost and betrayed when promises for blessings for obedience were ignored. As a mother of teenagers I often prayed and pleaded for my children, for their happiness and safety. I realized then that despite what I had been taught, teaching your children correct principles was only half of the picture. And now with adult children struggling with their faith, I recognize their journey. Especially the confusion of teaching your own small children the kind of faith they need while fighting for the kind of faith you must have.
So do I believe in Santa ? I believe we need him. Do I believe in religion? I believe we need it.
Do I think it is simple, no, none of it is.
Beach Boys--I Get Around
18 years ago
2 comments:
Excellant thoughts!!
Great post, mom. The Christmas program is the only time in the year that I truly enjoy sacrament meeting.
Maybe it's something about the hymns, the hope, and the nostalgia of childhood. It's one time in the year that I feel my heart thawing, responding to the warmness of charitable messages. Essentially, the talks are all centered towards the ideas I find most resonant in the gospel. It's an opportunity for me to get away from my seemingly natural rebuttals. I can just sit. That's a nice feeling for me. Nothing touches me like dialogue centered on giving and receiving kindness.
The principles underlying the Christmas message are so important. I hope, at least to some degree, they pervade all of my actions. The principles transcend dogma. They can't be packaged. They can only be enacted.
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