Tomorrow I'm translating for a general authority (Elder Hallstrom) in our local branch. Translating can be a pretty nerve racking experience, especially when you are in front of a congregation and you need to translate simultaneously. I translated quite a bit on mission, however, since my mission I've mostly been interpreting (meaning, I just read and try to stay on track with the speaker). The problem about translating for a general authority is that they typically like to talk. I'm sure I'll be fine translating. And of course, there will be very few people in the room who actually know if I'm translating correctly or not. Worse comes to worse, I can always teach the plan of salvation :)
I fee
l like I'm at a really static point in my church membership. I'm making strides to improve, but it can be difficult. What I mean by static is that I don't feel like going to church is necessarily making me happier, yet I don't feel like leaving the church would make me happy either. Ever feel like that? Mostly I try to maintain the commandments and try to be a good person. I'm sure this time will pass and I'll be better for it. However, in the interim it can be difficult to muster up true motivation to do "church." It's strange... I feel like all of the blessings in my life come from something I feel a disconnect with --- something that was once so intimate. At the same time, come Sunday, I have the general feeling that I'm in the right place. I think that a lot of times our spirituality has little to do with our membership, but rather, there are other reasons that challenge us living a generally spiritual, and fulfilling life --- such as life confusion, intellectual confusion, etc. I don't feel like ups and down are bad. The important thing is to seek for clarity in both the light and dark. Our darkest moments, many times, provoke the brightest catharsis.Sorry for getting a little heavy on you --- just a few things I've been thinking about lately :) I'll make sure to update you on how the translation goes. Also, stay tuned for old mission stories and other random stories that I probably haven't told any of you. This is so much fun. I'll leave you on this note:
1 comment:
Kurt-I too have these conflicts. As a thinking person I often feel alienated from my peer group in the church. Case in point, I was invited to the Republican debates the other night (to watch on T.V.) and in general cheer on Romney because he is a MO(extremely distateful to me as politics are in general). Because I love the people in my family home evening group, and they are nice conservative simple folks. I just sat there and knitted. I didn't say boo. I felt like getting into a discussion about the irony and immorality of the canidates was not warranted. Came home, had a good rant and felt better. I am not a good lithmus test on this because my belief is that politics are " show business for ugly people." I do think getting involved by doing and learning and participating on the local level is more helpful and real. But alas, not always.
So back to church and how boring it is. Long ago I learned this, I am there to give not get. It is simply my lot in life. The whole point of Jesus's teachings was aimed away from sitting in the Synagogue and soaking in intellectul and spiritual truths. He was talking about taking care of each other, worrying about people, trying to be kind and sensitive, meeting people where they are. As you know, and you are very good at.
Instead of getting to listen to wonderful lessons and talks I need to make good comments, compliment and encourage people and teach as often as I can.
The grandma bag- About 7 years ago I was sitting in a correlation meeting and people were bitching. As usual. They were complaining about how difficult it is to feel the spirit because people's kids are banchees in sacrament meeting. This hit me wrong. I said. Why aren't we helping them with their kids?(the people complaining had grown kids) Alas, the grandma bag was born. I fill a bag with fun stuff for kids to do every Sunday.(like I did for you guys) then.. I sit by people who need help and I hand them fun stuff to do. I can testify that when I do that, I feel the spirit. I feel the spirit every sunday because I try to spy on people and see things they are doing great, like kindnesses, nice outfit, good haircut.. then I compliment them on it, and I feel the spirit. I even try to think of good things about the facist Mormons and try to list in my head the things I have in common with them and plan how to like them more. To build my own faith and learning I study the scriptures, read and talk to like minded people about things that matter to me.
At this time in life you are at a cross road. You are coming out of a time in life when you look forward to things. I remember each one of you, telling me that Christmas wasn't as much fun now that well, you had lost the magic part being a grown-up. I told you just to wait. The REALLY fun part is planning it for your kids. Same thing with the gospel. Teaching your children is like experiencing it all for the first time again. The simple faith, the purity of belief, the understanding of what really counts. Kids have that.
So, through loving, serving and teaching for me, religion has a purose, a true center and it rings true for me.
I love you Kurt for your sensitive spirit and yearinging to know. You will find your answers. Often in the most unassuming places. I am glad I know you.
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